‘Each day I work a little bit
On plans of my own
I book flights to all the places
I have wanted to go
Don't you worry about me
And all my solo reverie
I'm the only one who's there
When I get home
To all the benefits
Of being alone.’
— The Benefits of Being Alone, song by Rose Cousins
—
‘Oh, you’re going to Goa alone? People do that?’
Yes, yes they do.
And they end up having the time of their lives.
I’m back! Back to ‘reality’, after a blissful three-month stint in the coastal paradise that is Goa, India.
How did I end up living in India’s smallest state? Well, on the first day of August, I simply decided to fly there on a one-way ticket — with no friends, no plans, and no expectations. All I knew was that I’d stay for just three weeks and then promptly head home, case closed.
But then. ‘Just 3 weeks’ turned into 3 months. ‘No friends’ turned into a beautiful group of lifelong friends. ‘No plans’ turned into endless stunning memories of motorbike rides, waterfall chasing, sunset hikes, and even a gig working with one of my favourite authors (pinch me). And ‘no expectations’? Always the best way to kickstart any adventure.
After over a year of struggling to adapt to life in India as an ‘Indian’, it looks like I’ve finally found a home, a place where I feel I belong, right in the heart of Goa. And the entire sojourn has transformed my life for the better — I’ve come out a happier, calmer, more fulfilled human being.
All this, thanks to one little leap of faith: the decision to travel alone.
Solo travel is one of those rare experiences because, while it can be truly breathtaking, it’s one that very few dare to try.
Why?
Because it’s daunting. Because it can be overwhelming to set yourself up for a journey alone, to face the world with no one else by your side. I understand it, because I faced the very same fears, the very same concerns, before my first solo trip.
And to travel solo in India is to be met with hesitation and scepticism at every turn. And then to travel solo as a woman in India? Bring on the naysayers.
I’m constantly asked how I ‘manage’ without a male counterpart to protect me. How I ‘organise my food’. How I don’t feel ‘lonely’.
I get this last sentiment, though. Because when you travel alone, it’s inevitable you’ll feel alone at some point — a feeling that is only exacerbated in a country like India, a country in which you’re constantly surrounded by people who are constantly surrounded by people.
But my mind, my travel-addicted mind, pays little heed to this noise. Because when your eyes open to the true beauty of travelling alone, little else matters.
And, for me, my love of solo travel comes down to three simple reasons.
You experience a place and its people far more deeply.
When you land up anywhere alone, you are, by default, more likely to engage with your surroundings on a deeper level. You’re prone to observe more, to interact more with others — locals and fellow travellers alike — than if you were distracted by a travel companion (or ten).
And this is natural, because when you’re not insulated in that dreaded couple bubble or in the arms of friends you’ve known since 1992, others tend to welcome you in more warmly.
One of my biggest travel regrets to date is choosing to move to Beijing with a partner in tow. And while living in China was incredible, I didn’t appreciate or notice much of what was going around me at all — including the many interesting people surrounding me — because I was perfectly content in my comfort zone. I did anything and everything with my partner, never making the very necessary and fruitful effort of feeling the true essence of Beijing alone.
Instead, my partner and I spent nights watching reruns of The Office and mornings chowing down on McDonald’s breakfast…yes, seriously. We did travel across China — extensively — but we were always in our little world of two which, in hindsight, completely goes against my travel philosophy of today.
So, if you’re travelling alone, lucky you! Your experience will only be enhanced by the fact that you’re alone. Get off your phone, get into the real world, and strike up those conversations you were too nervous to strike up on your last trip.
What’s the worst that could happen?
—
You can do whatever you want, whenever you want, for however long you want.
When I wasn’t galavanting and exploring and partying with my new and wonderful friends in Goa, my solo days and nights in this magical pocket of India looked something like this:
Picking up the catch of the day early in the morning, ready to cook it exactly the way I liked in the evening.
Logging off work to pour myself a glass of crisp, cold white wine to enjoy on the moonlit balcony.
Pressing play on the music I liked at the volume I liked — whenever I liked.
Waking up early on a Saturday morning, brewing myself a strong cup of coffee, popping a fresh paperback in the backpack, opening up Google Maps, and planning the day’s escapades.
All alone, with no one to tell me when to leave and what to see and how long to stay at the places I want to stay at.
No, I’m not a total loner — I love travelling with my closest friends — but there is something truly special about finding your own place in a new place, about experiencing it through your own, unique narrative.
To travel alone is to be free.
—
Life is too short and the world too large to leave unexplored.
So many of us have bucket lists to fulfill and dream trips ‘in the works’, but so many of us also wait for someone — anyone — to tag along with us. But to play this waiting game is to leave so much of the world unexplored. And if the lockdowns of the past year have taught us anything, it’s that ’someday’ can, quite easily, turn into ‘never’.
And if you’re willing to go tripping with anyone just for the sake of having a travel companion, it may spell worse news for your trip than if you just went solo. After all, it’s always better to spend time alone than with the wrong people.
Not so long ago, I found myself religiously following one friend on Instagram who just seemed to be continuously globetrotting. I couldn’t comprehend why or how she got so ‘lucky’.
Luck, of course, had very little to do with it (apart from the obvious privilege of being able to travel in the first place). Instead, it had everything to do with my friend just being willing to exit her comfort zone, alone, to see what magic awaited her on the other side. No waiting or wishing — just moving.
Ultimately, overthinking is what stops the majority of aspiring solo travellers from just pressing go on their travel plans.
So, instead, they swipe through the Instagram Stories of strangers and friends, wishing they were paragliding over Kaziranga or scuba diving off Micronesia — when they could have easily been doing exactly that, with a simple mindset shift.
But solo travel doesn't need to be extravagant or expensive to be extraordinary. You can treat every day in your hometown like an adventure. Talk to people you haven't talked to before. Take routes you previously ignored to destinations you've never explored before.
So, don’t overthink it. Start small, but do start.
And, as my father would say, ‘Have you booked that flight yet?’
Until next time,
S
Tell me: Have you travelled solo? Where to? And where to next?
Cover image captured by Neil Agarwal in South Goa, India.